Even the “best” of relationships can run their course. One day you think you are happy with someone, then the truth rears its ugly head and you must face the demise of your partnership.
It can be devastating, but you have to admit, there are signs.
If you have questions about your relationship — get ready. This is a deep dive into that gray area you keep painting with pretty colors and presenting with a smile. It’s about the sub-surface aspects of your relationship that just don’t feel right.
Your gut is screaming at you there is something wrong, but you just want it to last a little longer. After all, you do enjoy each other’s company and you’ve invested so much in this person.
For all the little things you are ignoring, there’s a host of details you don’t even know about. For the little bits of truth that eke their way to the surface, there’s a huge iceberg just beneath.
Today, we address that iceberg. (Or those icebergs.)
Here are some of those warning signs in print — because maybe you need to see them in black and white to accept them. If something is wrong and you know it — perhaps this will give you the kick you need to address those issues head-on.
Let's talk about 5 signs your relationship may be on its last days.
1. Your partner disappears a lot
There’s an expectation that when you are in a relationship, you have a general idea of where each other are located — without this being a big deal. No one should be suspicious, accusatory, or controlling about it at all, of course, but just to have comfort about sharing openly about your movements is normal.
Sometimes, your partner starts making excuses and disappearing. Mysterious behavior like making silly reasons to go “out” and they don’t seem to want to discuss it with you, or they get defensive. Or they start making the same excuse over and over that just doesn’t sit right with you.
If you find yourself continually wondering where your partner is going and what they are up to — you may have a problem. Those sneaky suspicions are either a sign that your insecurities are rising (a red flag) or that your partner is really up to something (another red flag.)
Bottom line, when they used to be all about spending time with you — they are now coming up with reasons to be away and they are hiding the core purpose of those disappearances. A tiny alarm is going off in your brain. (Trust, but verify, comes to mind.)
2. Your partner turns their phone or computer screen away when you approach
I admit I have ignored this one for YEARS.
If your partner gets jumpy and evasive with their screens — it can be easily explained:
- They do not want you to see what they are doing
- They do not want you to see who they are talking to
- They do not want you to see what they are viewing
The common theme here is: They do not want YOU TO SEE.
This is a “red flag” moment. An “iceberg” moment. A STOP and PAY ATTENTION moment. Ignoring it means you are rationalizing away their “iceberg” behavior and pretending the ship is afloat on perfect seas, when likely, it is not.
3. Your partner does not speak well of your relationship or you
From the lingering past relationships to the coworkers to the new “friends” your partner has, you kind of get the feeling people don’t like you very much. You are introduced to them (if you are at all) in a hushed and dismissive manner.
Your partner is not presenting you or your relationship to the world with the same respect, validation, and honor that you are giving it. The disproportionate sharing of, aka “bitching” about, you to their friends, family, coworkers, etc. is getting noticeable.
This is either a sign that your partner is less happy with you than you think — or they have no issue disrespecting you and your privacy. Both are problematic.
4. Your partner romanticizes the activities of single people
Suddenly, your partner is changing their lingo, mentioning the clubs, or expressing an interest to go out with a new set of people — all single people. You get the feeling this new behavior is a longing for those single days. Party behavior or a change in their social activities or friends could be an indication they are ready to part ways and move on or that they are not respecting the boundaries of being in a relationship.
5. Your partner, whether they mean to or not, is holding you back from being authentic
This one is personal. It isn’t a sign. It isn’t a symptom or a memory or an event.
IT IS A FEELING. It is that little nudge that won’t go away. Your dreams. Your goals. How you see yourself as a person. The growth you need to do.
If your partner isn’t a part of all of that, you have this feeling of being held back or diluted or complacent, it is truly ok to let go of a relationship that is nbo longer serving the best interests of both parties and if your relationship has run its course of growth in your life.
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