Lifelong friends reunite after nearly 50 years apart

It’s been nearly half a century since Lois Merchant-Stumpf and Susan Maloney last saw each other in person. But when the two women recently reconnected, it was as if no time had passed at all.

“We just had so much catching up to do,” Maloney said. “We get started on a story, and then it’s like, ‘Oh, I remember that. I do remember that we did that.’”

Merchant-Stumpf and Maloney first met in 1978, 46 years ago, in Columbus, Ohio. They worked together on a project through the VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) program, which they described as being similar to the Peace Corps program but for domestic projects. Though they only spent a year side-by-side, that time forged a deep bond between the two young women.

“It was so funny. Everybody there had college degrees that didn’t lead to jobs. I had a degree in Latin American Studies. (Maloney) had a degree in psychology, the others in sociology, zoology, botany. These are all the kids that graduated,” Merchant-Stumpf said. “We were mostly all 21 years old right out of college, and then (we went) ‘now what?’ with these degrees.”

The VISTA program placed the recent graduates in communities across the country to work on various service projects. For Merchant-Stumpf and Maloney, that meant assisting residents at the Columbus State Institute, a state-run institution for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

“Columbus State Institute was really an awful place,” Maloney said. “There really was no programming, and that’s part of why we got there. These people were supposed to have these skills, which they were supposed to have been taught, and they didn’t have any skills. And they would get them up at the crack of dawn in the morning for what reason, I don’t know. Because people would get up, and then you’d find them sleeping under tables and stuff because they had no place they had to be or anything they had to do. Some of them went to workshops or they strung beads for Wendy’s or whatever. But for the most part, they just didn’t do anything with them.”

Despite the challenging conditions, the two women formed close relationships with many of the residents.

“We got to really care for the people. We treated them, not like friends, because we had a professional relationship with them, but that’s why they were at our house at Christmas and they were at our house at Thanksgiving. We just respected them,” Merchant-Stumpf said. “With you bringing these young 21-year-olds in, they might not connect like that. (But) we really connected with them. I really cared about them. And I think we did right by them.”

The work was demanding, with long hours spent trying to find housing and develop basic life skills for the residents. However, Merchant-Stumpf and Maloney also found time for adventure, embarking on a grueling 125-mile bike ride from Columbus to Sandusky, Ohio, just to visit an amusement park.

After their VISTA term ended, Merchant-Stumpf and Maloney went their separate ways, reconnecting primarily through yearly Christmas cards over the decades. That is, until about a month ago, when Maloney reached out to say she’d be in the area visiting family.

“I was so pleased that she was excited that it was coming,” Maloney said. “When I first approached it, I thought, ‘I don’t know if she’ll want me to come. It’s been so many years.’”

However, both said meeting each other again felt like no time had passed at all. The two women spent several days reminiscing about their time in Ohio, swapping stories and memories they hadn’t thought of in years.

Though their lives have taken different paths since then, the bond they formed as young VISTA volunteers has endured.

“All of us really grew a lot that year, just maturity-wise. You graduate from college, you think you are mature, but then you look back on it a few years later, you think, ‘Wow, I was really immature.’ You grow so much during that time.” Maloney said. “That experience was really something, because most of us came from small towns and farms and things like that. There weren’t a lot of city kids amongst the group, and I think we were pretty naive about a lot of things, those of us who just graduated. You just grow. There’s just so much to learn.”

Merchant-Stumpf and Maloney reminisced about the challenges they faced, from living in a dilapidated apartment infested with cockroaches to navigating the complex bureaucracy of the state institution. They also fondly recalled the small moments of joy, like the time a resident named Vernon carefully hung candy canes on a tree in their shared home.

As they parted ways once more, both women agreed they would see each other again much sooner than the time it took to reunite for the first time.

“We’re not gonna wait another 46 years,” Maloney said. “That’s just not gonna happen.”