West Side Hot Dog Showdown Between a Times Square Titan and Hell’s Kitchen’s Freebie Feast

A tale of two hot dogs — one a 65-foot behemoth and the other more traditionally sized and free with any drink purchase. The two Manhattan munchies were just blocks apart — one in Times Square and the other at Hell’s Kitchen dive bar Rudy’s. We sent out our intrepid reporter Dashiell Allen, who doesn’t even like hotdogs, for an independent taste test. Check out which one came out on top…

All eyes turned to the sky at lunchtime today (Tuesday), when husband-wife artist duo Jen Catron and Paul Outlaw erected the world’s largest hot dog high above Times Square. I was there to witness the astonishing feat of human engineering — truly a testament to capitalistic triumph and the annals of patriarchy — and couldn’t help but treat myself to a signature Hell’s Kitchen dog at Rudy’s Bar, which gives them away for free with every drink.

Catron takes hot dogs very seriously. As she explained to the crowd, “It’s a mashed up conglomerate of processed meat that mirrors America itself … It’s a portrait of America and all of its absurd, problematic processed chunks of unknown parts posing as one.”

The dog’s placement in Times Square makes sense because, “This is the capital of capitalism,” Catron explained to me. Represented by the hot dog’s long and slender build, “this hyper-masculinity has been pervasive in our culture forever to a very strong degree.”

Mohamed Attia, the managing director of the Street Vendor Project, remembers first encountering the hot dog when he began working as a vendor himself 15 years ago.

“I was told that there are businesses that are based on one item and one item only, and that item was the hot dog,” he said. “Hundreds of food vendors actually make a living and thrive in our city selling this iconic snack.”

One of those vendors, Omar, working on the corner of W46th St and Broadway, welcomed the spectacle. “It looks good, it looks great I think, it’s much better,” he told me, adding that hopefully his proximity to it will draw in more business.

Nick Guy, an awe-inspired witness of the colossal achievement, couldn’t help but buy a human-sized hot dog for himself. “Hot dogs really make me think of America,” he said. “It makes me think of summer, it makes me think of friends and family, so all the things I love.”

Little did Guy know that he could have saved on cash just down the street. On 9th Avenue between W44th and W45th Streets. Rudy’s proudly serves up hot dogs for the meager sum of $0 with every beer (or cider in my case). Times Square Alliance could not confirm how much their dog cost to construct and install.

I’m not a huge fan of hotdogs myself, in fact I don’t think I’ve eaten one since my summer camp days on Staten Island, but I had to give it a go for the occasion. It wasn’t bad, certainly juicier than I had expected, especially with ketchup and mustard on top.

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