#Breaking Media


Stat Of The Week: A Caffeinated Workforce

Extensive report by the Guardian on the U.S. food industry has recently raised monopoly concerns, another new agriculture-related stat has largely flown under the radar. As noted by VICE, a study published this week in Current Biology reveals that lawyers aren’t the only ones who see an improved work focus after ingesting caffeine.
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Suggest Goldman Sachs Wants Nothing To Do With Henry Gabay, Get Sued

The founders of hedge fund Duet Group are having a little tiff, which is presumably why one of them, Henry Gabay, is not eager to pay the other, Alain Schibl, a $2.5 million arbitration award to cover an outstanding debt. And you can sort of understand why, as Gabay believes Schibl threw him under a bus full of German prosecutors investigating Duet’s ties to the Cum-Ex tax avoidance scandal, which led to Gabay’s arrest (although neither man has actually be charged with anything).
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Prosecutors Couldn’t Indict SPACs As A Concept, So They Indicted Trevor Milton Instead

Nikola Motors founder and former executive chairman and CEO Trevor Milton was hauled away from his vertical farm in rural Utah and into federal custody in New York today. Prosecutors say that in his former life he lied about practically everything going on at the would-be electric truck revolutionary in an indictment that reads like a slightly staid edit of short-seller Hindenburg Research’s blistering report that led to Milton becoming the former executive chairman and disrupting gentleman farmer in the first place. And boy oh boy were these (allegedly) some pretty spectacular lies.
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All It Took For Credit Suisse To Lose $5.5 Billion Was For People To Ignore Huge Risks Piling Up That Weren’t Making The Bank Any Money

Did you think that $5.5 billion disasters that lead to house-cleanings at both the investment bank and compliance department, cutting the prime brokerage business to the bone, an avalanche of ominous letters and phone calls from regulators and prosecutors, and enough fury to cause even the Swiss to consider—however briefly—actually holding bankers to account just sort of, you know, happen, well, uh, you pretty much hit the nail on the head, according to Credit Suisse’s in-house investigation into the Archegos Capital Management debacle.

Robinhood Has A Couple Of Teensy Things To Get Off Its Chest Before Tomorrow’s IPO

Pikawil from Laval, Canada / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0) You may have heard that a trading app called Robinhood is going public tomorrow. If you haven’t, you should know it’s kind of a big deal. It is the favored platform of Millennials and other stock market mutineers. It is going to revolutionize both the way IPOs are done and the cryptocurrency markets, the latter eventually. It’s done quite well for itself—well enough to perhaps earn a $35 billion valuation—even if more than four-fifths of its revenue is currently in the regulatory crosshairs. Oh, and speaking of regulatory crosshairs, if you’re aiming to spend $38 to $42 or more depending on how generous a bump the degenerates provide to get in on the meme stock to end all meme stocks, there are a couple of things you should probably know.

Landlord Not Going To Let A Little Hedge Fund Meltdown Cost It $160,000

Jim Gorman’s worries notwithstanding, the commercial real-estate marking seems to be thriving in spite of a stubborn, lingering global pandemic fueled by stubborn, ludicrous vaccine-averse people. Sales are at pre-pandemic levels (although Gorman’s beloved New York hasn’t rebounded quite as well) and the world’s biggest commercial real-estate services firm is feeling frisky.

Stablecoins May Not Be Stable, But They Might Be Criminal

What if—and hear us out on this one—not everything in the world of cryptocurrency is as it seems? What if it’s a place where a joke can become deadly serious, where coins and tokens and the rest can live in a Heisenbergian-Schrödegerrian state of uncertainty and paradox, both currency and security and neither all at the same time? Where words take on different and seemingly opposite meanings? Where instead of constancy and transparency a stablecoin actually brings instability and opacity?

Hedge Fund Manager About To Plead Guilty To Defrauding PPP Won’t Avoid Rikers

If you are going to steal $4.6 million from the federal government—money earmarked to help businesses keep employees on the payroll through the worst ravages of a crippling global pandemic, no less—as hedge fund manager Gregory Blotnick is alleged to have done, it is best to keep a few hundred thousand dollars of your own money on hand if you’d prefer to avoid a trip to Rikers Island before your upcoming stay with the hospitable jailers of the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

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Didi Global’s New York Vacation May Be Coming To An End

People sure were eager to get a piece of Chinese ride-sharing behemoth Didi Global when it went public last month. And we hope they’ve enjoyed the, uh, ride, because it might very well be coming to an end at the hands of some very unhappy Chinese authorities. Regulators are weighing...

Sovereign Bond Allocators Treating Hedge Funds Like Greedy Children

Xavier Häpe / CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0) There are no trillion-dollar hedge funds out there. This makes it difficult for them to compete in European sovereign debt auctions with the European Central Bank, which has €1.85 trillion just to buy those bonds. Difficult, but not impossible; these are hedge funds, after all, and their job is to figure out how to make money on anything. So let’s say they want a bigger piece of, say, a €10 billion European Union issue than they’re likely to get with an honest bid, given that such things receive many times more offers than there are for actual bonds. Why not just place more bids than you actually want? Far more, in fact? Why not put in bids for more money than you actually have, since there’s no chance you’ll actually be called on to make good?

Former Alleged Father-Son Fraudster Allegedly Became A Mama’s Boy

Say what you will about the Kovars, but they like to keep things in the family. Specifically fraud, according to the Securities and Exchange Commission. A dozen years ago, Brent Kovar was accused of running a pump-and-dump scheme with his old man. Well, he wasn’t going to make that mistake again. So when he came up with an alleged cryptocurrency Ponzi scheme, he didn’t enlist his father as a co-conspirator. Instead, this time, he allegedly went with his mom.

‘Relationship Of Trust’ May Be Required For Insider Trading Under Canon Law, Is Not Under U.S. Law

Vitaly Korchevsky knows, in his heart, that he is “clean before the Lord.” Unfortunately for the Morgan Stanley vice president turned hedge fund manager and pastor, while trading on stolen press releases may not violate any Biblical commandments, a jury found that it did violate U.S. securities law, which is why he’s currently preaching at the former Chez Madoff rather than the Slavic Evangelical Baptist Church in Brookhaven, Pa. And the higher authorities—namely, a three-judge panel of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals—is no more merciful.

RenTech Nuclear Arms Race Hits Snag

Federal government of the United States, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. Jim Simons did not invent the atomic clock. That achievement came a full 29 years before Simons—who is, after all, a mathematician and not a physicist, and anyway was only 11 at the time—founded Renaissance Technologies. But it certainly would have been helpful if he, as a precocious Brookline schoolboy, had done so, because then RenTech wouldn’t be having such difficulties keeping other hedge funds’ hands off its anti-high frequency trading nuclear weapons.
Congress & CourtsDEALBREAKER

Inspiration For ‘Billions’ Dominatrix Wins In Court Of Public Opinion

Artefactv / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0) In considering whether Andrew Ross Sorkin & co. got a little too copy-paste-y in conjuring the character of hedge fund performance coach/dominatrix Wendy Rhoades, U.S. District Judge George Daniels may not have subjected himself to all 55 soapy, interminable hours of Showtime’s “Billions.” Well, federal appeals court judges Debra Ann Livingston, Robert Sack and Denny Chin did, and it turns out you don’t have to watch the unwatchable to know that being a woman and having a job, even in that combination, are (as they strongly suspected) not copyrightable, even if the fictitious character in question is wearing your clothes.

SPARC Extinguished

When did the Renaissance end? While some epochs in history are very definitively punctuated (the Roaring Twenties, for example, by Black Tuesday), others tend to decline and fade more gradually, the dramatic moments more signposts than endpoints, more symbolic than certain. So, when did the Renaissance end? With the Bonfire of the Vanities? Da Vinci crossing the Alps? The sack of Rome? The founding of the Inquisition? Or with all of them and none?

Leon Black Will Have You Know That He Conducts His Extramarital Affairs With The Utmost Propriety

Like maintaining a decade-long friendship and business relationship with pedophile even after his conviction for sexual assault, cheating on one’s wife is not illegal. Like getting caught bringing your family to Jeffrey Epstein’s private sex-trafficking island, however, it is immoral, unsavory, potentially embarrassing and generally detrimental to one’s reputation. And...

Stat Of The Week: The Price Of A Commute

Have a handy metric to track changes in these costs, drivers are now facing an unprecedented price tag for their cars. As noted by Slate, the cost of used vehicles has officially “rocketed into the stratosphere,” with Labor Department statistics released on Tuesday revealing a record-breaking 10.5% rise in June. This follows a 7.3% increase in May and 10% increase in April, making the sector the “single biggest component” fueling recent inflation in the U.S.