The channel from Roanoke brings early morning news into my living room. I almost never ever turn it on, but DVR must’ve been recording something from that channel the night before. What caught my ear, however, was the “dog-walking report” or whatever they call it. The weather guy tells you how the temperatures will be when you go to walk your dog. It struck me that I’ve never walked a dog in my life. This is apparently remarkable because it’s so common a chore they have a whole segment in the weather report daily on the news about it for the masses. I have never walked a dog because my dog is self-walking. He just goes outside and does it. I have the luxury of living in the middle of a cornfield just past the capital of Nowhere. And ain’t it lovely? I complain sometimes about lack of cell signal or internet but my dog is awful happy. I briefly felt sorry for those other dogs at their master’s mercy to get time and pretty weather to go outside. They need the wide open spaces my Hardy has. But we can’t all have that. There just ain’t enough. Nowhere to go around.