24 Daily Romantic Gestures That Older Adults Swear By To Keep The Spark Alive

If you've ever known an older couple who still act like they're in their honeymoon phase after decades together, you've probably spent some time wondering how in the heck they do it. Well, recently, I stumbled upon this Reddit thread full of older adults sharing the little ways they show affection to their partners and keep the spark alive. They shared so much wisdom and many practical tips, so I had to share it. Here's what they had to say:

1. "We will be married 40 years tomorrow. Every morning my husband comes over to my side of the bed and kisses me, tells me that I’m beautiful. I do the same at night. We often hold each other during the day and tell each other I love you. He is 81, and I am 75. We know our days are numbered, and we make every day count."

2. "We have nicknames, silly games we made up, and we randomly touch each other. It takes us an hour to watch a 30-minute show because we pause and talk about something. My love language is food. His love language is gifts. He says spoiled is just another word for loved. 18 years and counting."

—u/ purplechunkymonkey

3. "My wife put love notes in my lunch bag. I’d buy tiny stuffed animals and put them on the passenger seat of her car. I now leave them on her headstone."

—u/ MatchPoint5

4. "Love is a verb. It's not just saying the words but showing your S.O. you love them by being there for them, listening, doing chores for them, being affectionate, etc."

5. "Four little words I learned to defuse tension: 'You may be right.'"

—u/ zaftigquilter

6. "My husband died eight years ago; we had been married 35 years. Every day, I found something to admire about him, then I told him what it was."

—u/ Ridiculopathy

7. "Good manners. Please and thank you. Hold the door to the car, retailer, or restaurant. I am not the smartest or the richest or the best-looking person, but I make damn sure that I am the kindest one. We recently started something new. During the afternoon, just lay in bed for 15 minutes and hold each other. Maybe talk a little bit. But fully dressed otherwise. Politics. She is middle right, and I am middle left. We back up our points with data and disagree respectfully."

8. "When my husband and I started dating, we would text each other in haiku. Every now and then, I send him a haiku just staying how much I love him and am proud of him working as hard as he does. Or I’ll put a card for him in his computer that he won’t find until he gets to work. Little things."

—u/ CarrieNoir

9. "Little things that generally improve life. I'll make her tea without being asked. If she's in the bath, I'll bring candles in and a speaker. When I'm at the store, I'll get her a Caramello and/or flowers. Random foot rub; if she's reading in bed, I'll come prop her feet up and put on cozy socks, etc. And vice versa. I also keep a list of epic quotes that she makes. I have quite the list, and they're fun to read back."

—u/ MackAndSteeze

10. "37 years married, and we kiss and say love you daily."

11. "We have a little message device that’s erased with the push of a button, and we write love messages to each other. We nuzzle and kiss during the day. We anticipate the needs of the other and fulfill them whenever we can. We kid around a lot and joke but also discuss challenges in our lives and family and friends. We play music for each other as we both are amateur musicians. The last piece we still work on — show interest and spend time — in the OTHER person's interests."

—u/ Raymont_Wavelength

12. "I’m out the door first, so I make sure her coffee is set, and when I know she is up, I will text with a 'Good morning, beautiful,' or something along those lines. And I have been married A LONG TIME!!! In the winter, I will clean the snow off her car so she doesn’t have to."

—u/ Sandypeople2

13. "We've been married for nearly 37 years. We hold hands daily. We giggle like 12-year-olds at inside jokes. We spend a lot of time together. I really, really like him. I would like him even if we weren't together. He is just a great man and a wonderful friend."

14. "We don't live together. We talk daily by phone for about an hour. When he visits my home, he washes dishes (which I hate doing), makes the bed every day, and makes me laugh. When I visit him, I take him out to eat and tease him about how messy his place is (as if mine is any better). Laughing together is the best thing, in my opinion. When I stop laughing, I'll be dead."

—u/ LouisePoet

15. "My husband and I battle the cats to see who can say hi to the other one coming home first. It sounds silly, but having someone actively competing to be the first to say hello when you walk in the door feels amazing. (The cats both go running to the door when they hear the garage door open. Sometimes, one of our cats will sit at the door for half an hour before my husband is due home. Many times, it's one or the other of us running while shouting, 'I'm second! I was here before cat number two.')"

—u/ LadybugGal95

16. "I check her oil multiple times per week."

17. "We (60f and 68m) have been married 40 years; we still kiss each other good night and say 'I love you' every single night. We only miss it if one of us is traveling."

—u/ K3ttl3C0rn

18. "Whenever I travel, I make a bunch of hearts on paper then hide them all over. Her goal is to find them all before I return. Mostly it's just being kind to each other."

— u/scottwax

19. "Due to some medical stuff, we have separate bedrooms (there's still intimacy happening, by the way). I go to bed earlier as I'm still working, while he's retired. So I make sure his curtains are closed, the bedside lamp on, and the bed turned down."

20. "Saying thank you. Saying I love you DAILY. Some kind of touch every single day, even if it's just walking by and squeezing a bun or hand across the back. No 'silent treatment' — if you are upset and not ready for your partner in your space, use your words. Apologize. Remember, you are a team and shouldn't be adversaries. No one should be trying to 'win'."

—u/ kittehs4eva

21. "My wife and I have been together 31 years so far. We’ve owned a business together, built a house together, lift weights together — in other words, we’re together all the time. Sometimes, when we’re in the middle of doing something specifically unromantic, I drop what I’m doing and just hug her. For a long time. I love to see the smile she gets on her face."

—u/ spoonman-of-alcatraz

22. "I bring my wife coffee as soon as I hear her stir. I am always awake an hour or two before her. Back in the day, I used to bring the newspaper too, but iPads made that obsolete."

23. "I try to tell my wife I love her or that she looks beautiful once a day. I also thank her for all the things she does once a day. I’ve tried to condition myself to look around and be thankful for what I have and who I have it with and verbalize it to her. That’s something I’ve learned with age — I did not do that with my first wife when I was in my 30s."

—u/ ControlUsed6051

24. And finally, "Always warmly greet them when they get home. I’m shocked when I see young couples not even look up from their phone or say hello when their significant other comes in the door. My partner and I always get up to hug and kiss each other. These little bids for affection are so monumental and are being forgotten."

— u/cslackie

What's a small way you show affection to your partner in day to day life? Tell us how you share your love in the comments.