Oh, the absurdities law enforcement has to deal with. The probable cause affidavit in this case is quite the read.
Not much happens in Brook Park, Ohio. The town is a sleepy suburb of around 18,600 people and 19 minutes outside of Cleveland in Cuyahoga County.
Nothing much happens here. This is why a white Ford F-350 activating blue dashboard lights before making an illegal left turn on to Eastland Road, immediately caught the attention of Sergeant Harold Duncan of the Brook Park Police Department.
So, Sergeant Duncan did what police officers are trained to do in such a situation: he “lit up” the offending truck and pulled the driver over at Sheldon Road in Brook Park.
Upon approaching the F-350, Sergeant Duncan encountered a white male at the driver’s seat, later identified as Gregory Candea.
Duncan asked to see a driver’s license, when Candea responded by asking if there was a problem. Duncan then advised him that yes, you blew through a red light with blue, police-style lights emanating from the inside of your truck.
Candea responded that he was a CIA agent, operating undercover in Brook Park, Ohio (something it’s illegal for the Agency to do in the first place – they cannot run operations or “spy on” American citizens on American soil per their 1947 charter). He also had on a t-shirt with the CIA logo.
When Sergeant Duncan naturally asked for identification showing Candea’s supposed CIA status, he instead produced a badge bearing the emblem of the FBI, explaining that he also works for them.
By this time another officer for the Brook Park PD, Zebraski, arrived to assist Sergeant Duncan. They asked Candea to exit his vehicle which he initially refused to do. They advised him that failure to comply will result in an arrest. This ultimately got him out.
In plain view on the truck’s center console was a pair of handcuffs and a neck chain. Candea also had a badge bearing the emblem of the DEA.
To complete this bizarrely delusional alphabet soup concoction, Candea advised another Brook Park officer that he indeed worked for the Treasury Department.
Of course, none of this checked out when the local law enforcement ended up contacting federal law enforcement.
So, Brook Park PD ran Candea’s name and date of birth. From there they discovered he had multiple warrants for his arrest, mostly from multiple FTAs (“failure to appear”). When officers asked why he didn’t show up, Candea responded, “I never go to court. I have too much authority in the United States.”
An inventory of his truck discovered business envelopes bearing his name and titles like “Pentagon official”, the hard-wired blue lights, multiple radios, a stun gun, invoices for two 800 round cases of ammunition purchased online using firstname.lastname@example.org as the email, another invoice for a Ruger semi-automatic pistol, and another for a Century Arms AK Rifle.
Candea was arrested on the existing warrants and new multiple charges of impersonating a federal officer. Read the entire four-page probable cause affidavit embedded below.