Telling lies in relationships has slowly become rampant. People no longer care about being honest with their partners.
From personal experience, I have noticed that it is the smallest lies that draw a relationship to its end. Lies telling at the beginning always start off to be innocent. We start by withdrawing little information from our partners until it starts to snowball into full blatant lying.
However, being fully honest with your partner will prevent future problems and downfalls.
The following are some lies that I have watched destroy a lot of relationships, and have brought many strong relationships to their downfall.
#1. Telling your partner that you are emotionally available when you aren’t
It is commonly said that the best way to get over someone, is to date someone new. So we tend to run into new relationships without healing from the previous failed relationship, not because we are ready to love, but because we want to get over our ex.
We try to heal ourselves while hurting others; you lie to your partner daily about being emotionally available, while when in truth, you are not. You take away the honesty in the relationship, thereby giving the relationship a weak foundation.
If you are not ready to love, or if you are still hurting, just be honest. Tell the person what you are going through, and what you are willing to bring to the table. Always remember that relationships build on a bed of lies are weak, and will soon be shaken by a fall.
#2. Saying that you want to have kids when you do/don’t
We all want kids at different points in our lives. You might be more ready to have kids at a particular point in your life than others.
Before getting into a relationship, do not promise what you are not ready to offer, and do not withhold what you are willing to offer or what you want.
People don’t always express their needs for kids or their indifferent feelings towards having kids as well. You just assume that your partner has the same goals as you, or you decide to keep it hidden because you think you will be able to handle the situation when the time comes. However, when the time actually comes, you start having arguments with your partners because your ideas differ. Such disagreements will cause the relationship to come to an end, leaving you to wish it never started in the first place.
Always be upfront with what you want, and save yourself the stress of heartbreak.
#3. Lying about your libido/how often you want to be intimate
Most couples lie about their level of libido when the relationships start in order to impress and satisfy their partners, but these activities do not last very long, because we will eventually get tired of pretending and displeasing ourselves.
Intimacy is essential in relationships, but others have high libido levels than others. It is very important to state at the beginning your libido level, and not tells lies, in order to impress the other party, because an act like that can only be kept for that long.
#4. Talking to an ex and lying about the frequency of it
So I am not going to tell you that two exes can never be friends, they can be friends, and they might even communicate more often with your partner than you might even do.
There is no problem with reaching out to your ex, the problem is lying to your present partner about the frequency. If you don’t have anything to hide, then you wouldn’t lie.
You lie about this and justify it with the fact that you might hurt your partner if you tell them the truth. However, speaking the truth may hurt your partner for a while, but at the end of the day, they will respect your honesty. If they end up finding out you were not honest with them, they will resent you.
#5. Letting a friendship cross the line into an emotional affair
Our relationship with the opposite sex always starts off very innocently, then we soon start to hang out with them and start telling them our secrets. You tell them things that you can not tell your partner, the two of you build up a bond.
But as time goes on, you people get even closer. You start telling lies to yourself and your partner about how you feel towards this “friend” of yours. As time goes on, you both become more close until one day you confess your feelings for each other. Nothing physical needs to happen at all for an emotional affair to happen, but the feelings are just as real because of the connection that has been built from sharing the deepest and most personal parts of each other.
In order to build strong relationships, we have to come to the table with a willingness to be transparent and honest. You might withdraw information because you are ashamed of the past, but there is no justification for telling lies. Instead of telling lies, be upfront with your partner and build the foundation of truth.